Many reality television shows make us feel bad about ourselves by showing us how great other people’s lives are. They are either rich and famous like the women on Keeping up With the Kardashians or get paid to party like the drunken idiots on the Jersey Shore. Love them or hate them, that’s a pretty sweet job. Don’t even get us started on MTV’s Cribs. That’s why you need to start watching the reality show HOARDERS to see how great you have it and feel good about yourself! If you are not familiar Hoarders follows around people who have a compulsion to collect junk, trash and possessions to the point where their homes are not livable and in some cases they are going to be evicted. The show brings in a team of professional cleaners and psychologists to help get all this crap out of their house!

Now just to be clear we are talking about the show Hoarders on the AMC network and not Hoarders: Buried Alive on the TLC network which are two totally different and disgusting shows! While Hoarders is way better than its TLC rip-off counterpart, you could start hoarding your favorite hoarding shows and complete this filthy line up with Confessions: Animal Hoarding on the Animal Planet network! Although hoarding tons of cute little kitties is pretty awesome. The Germans have a word for deriving pleasure from other people’s misfortune; “schadenfreude.” And that is exactly what you are going to experience by watching this amazing program.

Men in Hazmat Suits Aren’t Cleaning Your Living Room

One of our “favorite” moments from Hoarders is when a woman declares “I guess I’m not such a good house keeper!” As large men in hazmat suits are using industrial SHOVELS to remove giant piles of FECES from her living room. So the next time your mom yells at you for leaving pizza crust on the coffee table, just think; at least men in hazmat suits are removing feces from my living room with shovel! Who is messy now?! You are way better then that!

The City Isn’t Condemning Your House For Mouse Turds

We have all had pets that get a little out of control and have an accident on the carpet. Some more then others. Your little brother swears he is going to take the dog out for a walk but that Xbox game isn’t going to beat itself now is it? So the next time the family Pug take a Rottweiler sized crap on the carpet and you want to projectile vomit, just be thankful you aren’t in the family on a recent episode Hoarders whose home was going to be condemned by the city for having loads of animal droppings infested IN THE WALLS. You are way better then that!

You Don’t Have Food With Claw Marks in It

In one episode a woman who hoards old food wanted to keep a jar of sugar that had expired several years ago simply because “there weren’t any claw marks in it yet.” In other words there weren’t visible signs that insects had infested it so it was perfectly safe to eat. You can be thankful that this isn’t your old lady and that the food you are eating may or may not contain “claw marks.” You are way better then that!

You Don’t Live With 50,000 Dolls

On this season’s premier of Hoarders a woman is featured who had a collection of over fifty thousand dolls. All types of dolls, Cabbage Patch Kids, old timey dolls, new dolls, stuffed animals, you name it this lady had it! In fact she even had a room devoted to her “Doll Hospital” where she would perform doll surgery cutting off hands from one doll and sewing it on another! Her adult son who still lives with her hardly had enough room to sleep, the house was so full of dolls! So the next time your parents or significant other complain about your obsessive comic book collection or pile of hundreds of original Star Wars action figures, just tell them to lay off! You’re not performing “doll surgery!” You are way better then that!

You are Not On Hoarders

The ultimate way that the TV show Hoarders can make you feel better about yourself is that YOU ARE NOT ON THE TV SHOW HOARDERS! Your mother, father or significant other has never shuffled past the mound of garbage you call a living room and declared “Hey good news we are going to be on television! Bad news is we are going to be on an episode of Hoarders!” Be thankful this is not you. Now go take out the garbage and clean your room.

What are some ways that Hoarders makes you feel better about yourself?