In these hard economic times job prospects for young people aren’t looking so good. In fact when you graduate high school or college you are likely to make less then what your parents do, a lot less. That’s why you need to be prepared to live a cheap and frugal existence. And who is more cheap and frugal then our nations hordes of homeless people? Embrace the best things about being a hobo! (Does anybody say “hobo” anymore?)

Watch The Sunrise Everyday

The best thing about being homeless is that you get to watch the sunrise every day! Every.. God damn day.. you wake up with the sun glaring in your burnt, dirty skin as the birds chirp around you and crap on face.

Free Soup

Who needs to work nine to five when as a hobo you can get free soup! Score! If you can get soup TWICE a day if you save up quarters and buy a fake mustache!

No More Baths

As a hobo you save time and money on hygiene. No longer do you have to waste countless hours brushing your teeth, combing your hair, cutting your finger nails, waxing your bikini line, trimming your nose hair, flossing, piercing your belly button, washing your tattoos, giving yourself a cucumber facial, now you can let it all hang out! It’s just like when you were a kid and you didn’t want to have bath time!

No More Chores

Now you don’t have to do any more chores! While all those losers with homes have to wash the dishes, vacuum the carpet and unclog the toilet, you can be rest assured you will never have to perform such banal tasks again! Sit back, relax and take in the beauty of not owning a home! Now the world is your home.

Dress However You Want

Now you can stop subscribing to society’s images of beauty! Let yourself get really fat and let yourself go on all of that free food you’re going to be getting from the shelter! Now that you don’t have to impress potential employers with your appearance, feel free to develop “interesting looks.”

Pick Up Chicks / Dudes

A great way to pass the time while you’re a hobo is to pick up the ladies and/or gentlemen! How do you do this? Easy- use your hands! If you chase after the nice people who stop and try to give you change, you can be rest assured that at least one of them will see past the dirt and grime and like you for who you are. So don’t be dissuaded when the first dozen or so run screaming.

Build a Mansion

One of the perks of being a Hobo is you can actually live like a rich person! Construct a MTV Cribs style mansion out of cardboard boxes. Invite homeless women over to your “grotto” aka a kiddie pool filled with piss.

Have Fun

Just because you’re a Hobo doesn’t mean you have to lose your sense of fun! Burn down an entire neighborhood of homes and when everyone is standing around in their robes and blankets crying, scream ‘NOW who’s homeless?!” (Note: Please don’t do that!)