Everyone is trying hard to stuff their jelly donut and chocolate soufflé filled belly back into their swimsuits that fit oh so good last year but make you look like a rumpled marshmallow crammed in midget’s sock this year. That’s why like it or not you have to drop some pounds. Before you start moaning that it’s too hard, do not fret! There is a simple way to shed those unwanted numbers; lose the body parts you don’t need!

A Kidney

The average human kidney weighs 140 grams according to a source of supreme knowledge, the internet. What’s great is you have two kidneys but to live you only need one of them! Just ask your Uncle Bert who drank all the time and had to get his removed.

The Appendix

The Appendix is a “vestigial” organ, one that once had a purpose used by human ancestors but now just hangs around our body like that unwanted mole on your back. Plus you never know when it’s going to burst. It has no function so get rid of it!

Hair

Hair can add on a lot of weight. So shave your head! Tons of cool people are bald; Professor X, Mr. Clean, Brittney Spears circa 2007. Shave it. Do it.

Tonsils

Why wait until you get a sore throat to have your tonsils removed? Fat, unsightly tonsils can really make a difference in shedding the summer weight. Plus after you have the surgery you get to eat lots of ice cream!

Fingernails & Toe Nails

You cut them off all the time, so just get rid of them all together.

Wisdom Teeth

Wisdom Teeth are another evolutionary byproduct that you don’t need! They usually grow in from age 17-25, but why wait to get them pulled? You might as well get a head of things and have all of your back teeth removed. Knock them right out. Every ounce counts for summer weight loss fun.

Dude Nipples

If you are a guy, you really don’t need nipples unless you enjoy having them clamped. Shave off those nipples and a few extra ounces (or pounds if you’re a guy with those big, nasty silver dollar pancake nipples).

Legs

With today’s sedentary life style most of us don’t get out much to run, walk or play sports. Sitting in class all day, sitting at work or in front of our televisions and computers, it would seem that you really don’t need legs. If you want to shed major pounds just lop off your legs and cut your weight in half

Arms

Why stop with the legs. If you really want to drop the pounds just become a living head. All you need is a head to talk, eat and watch TV.

What body parts could you do without to lose weight?