Your Alarm Clock

By having the sound of your very own alarm clock as your ring tone whenever you get a phone call you will feel like you have to get up to go to school or work. Conversely the more you become familiar with a sound the less likely your brain is to respond to it. By constantly hearing the sound of your alarm clock every time your phone rings you will no longer wake up when your actual alarm clock buzzer goes off and will be always be late! Dant! Dant! Dant! Dant! Dant!

Dentist Drill

No one likes going to the dentist. I don’t care, even if you are a dentist, you still don’t like going to the dentist no matter what they say. And nothing reminds people more of sitting in the dentist chair having strangers ram their rubber tasting gloved hands down your throat and scrapping your teeth then the “wuring” sound of the dentist drill! Now you can enjoy that sensation each time you get a phone call.

Latest Auto Tuned Pop Song

There is nothing harsher on the ears than the sound of auto tuning in popular music. It’s unnatural, it’s unnecessary and it is the latest horrific pop culture craze this side of Snooki (who btw I’m sure will come out with an album at some point thanks to auto tuning allowing any no talent hack with some notoriety come out with a album of “music”). Now you can enjoy these terrible tunes each time your phone rings. “Oh baby why does something so right feel so wrong? I’m going to be lovin’ you till I’m dead and gone.”

The Sound of Someone Using a Magic Marker

Magic Markers are great for many things: coloring books on a rainy day, making a homemade greeting card for your mom and huffing their strong scent until you get really loopy. However Magic Markers are really annoying when it comes to that God awful sound they make! Now with this ring tone you can enjoy all magic markers have to offer!

Your Parents Having Sex

This one is a biggy; we’ve all been there. No matter how hard you put that pillow over your ears the sound of your folks humping in the next room just wouldn’t go away. But just for you we snuck into your parent’s bedroom and recorded them having sex so now you can carry that wonderful sound of love around with you at all times and can hear it whenever they (or anyone else) calls.