It can happen at the most inconvenient times but all of us have had the dreadful experience of our one true love leaving us… our one true love being The Internet. What to do with no web access? How do you communicate and entertain yourself? What’s great is if your job is at a website when the Internet goes out it’s like getting a Snow Day at work! What do you do when the Internet goes out?

Organize your MP3 Playlists: Normally you’d be on Facebook or watching YouTube videos all day while you’re supposed to be doing your work. But with the web down what a more constructive way to blow free time than alphabetizing your MP3’s into Playlists like “Just Justin” – an all Justin Beiber- Justin Timberlake playlist.

Discover the Free Games on Your Computer: When is the last time you played Minesweeper? Seriously? Who needs a Facebook App when you can play hours of internet access free Minesweeper!  Or if you’re really daring you can play a game of cards. Nah, better stick to Minesweeper.

Clean up The Unused Icons On Your Desktop: You know how you always get that pop up on your Windows PC that tells you, you have “unused icons on your desktop?” No one in the history of computing has ever clicked on this notice. Now with no internet service you can be the first.

Talk to People in Person: You know those bipedal beings you keep bumping into in the space between your computer and the bathroom? Those are people. They are the offline avatars of the people you chat with online all day. You can communicate with them in person by moving your mouth and making sounds come out. Try it out!

Use up all of Your Cell Phone’s Data Plan: Now that everyone has smart phones you can always access the web on your phone! When your wireless goes out at home you immediately jump on your cell, however this usually leads to racking up more download charges and debt then the GDP of some third world countries.

Keep Rechecking Your Non Working Email: They say that when someone loses an arm they have phantom pains of their missing limb. Its’ sort of the same thing with the web. You know it’s not working but you keep hitting send/ receive anyway.

Dust off Your Television: Before the internet people (see above) watched something called television which was sort of like YouTube but videos lasted for more than three minutes- even up to an entire hour! (For serious!)

Feed Your Animals: Unlike Virtual Pets, real animals require actual food and water. It’s probably been a while since you fed them.

Bathe and Groom Yourself: Since most of your brain power is focused on multitasking your sense of smell is probably deadened from years of non use. Now that you have freed up some of your senses you’re probably noticing that odor. Those are your arm pits. Use soap and water to bathe and that should go away.

Start a Cannibal Cult: You’re tasty classmates or coworkers you’re devouring may ask ‘what does loss of the internet connection have to do with eating?’ You can tell them that it’s always best to plan ahead. Although you may have plenty of food now, basic utilities like internet, power and water are the first things to go in a crisis. So this internet outage could spell big disaster! While others will be fighting over spoiled food reserves, you will be surviving nuclear war and the zombie apocalypse with a full belly of Kevin the IT Guy. The Internet is still out Kevin!